Empty Rooms
Highlights of pregnancy is setting up the NURSERY. Getting it all decorated, picking a theme, filling it with a crib, diapers, blankets, toys and everything baby related. WHAT HAPPENS after your baby doesn't come home with you?
The farthest I was able to get with our nursery was painting it grey and adding yellow and white curtains that matched the theme I was going for. I lost Noel at 25 weeks and I had been in the hospital since 23 weeks so there wasn't much chance to get a crib, etc. After we lost him and we came home, my husbands parents where staying in the room since it was basically empty. They stayed with us for about a month.
We had Noel cremated and after long discussions my husband and I agreed to keep him with us until I was ready. (To be honest I don't think I'll ever be ready to let his ashes go.)
His parents went back to Mexico and there the room was, empty, again. It pained me to walk by it at times and see it so empty and lonely. For the mean time we had my son in our room on-top of our dresser with his stuffed bears, blankets and memory box that the hospital gave us. I really got sad and wanted him to be in a quiet peaceful place. So I decided to convert his room into a PEACE ROOM. I got a few shelves and hung them up and placed the few books and trinkets that our family had given us for him on the shelves. I then placed his ashes there as well.
I began to get into calligraphy right before I lost Noel and I kept it up afterwards. I found comfort in it. So I decided to place a tiny desk in the room so I could do some calligraphy in peace there with him. I also placed mirrors and a yoga mat to exercise if I wanted to. Lastly we placed a lovesac, which is a huge beanbag. We sometimes lay on the beanbag and just nap with him. I don't allow any negativity to go in there. I want it to always be a quiet and peaceful place.
I asked a few friends on a facebook support group what they did with their rooms. Here are some responses:
Kept the nursery up until they conceived again
Family took everything out and placed in storage for them
Only left crib up and placed all gifts inside
Moved Homes
No matter what you decide, know that it's normal and it's what's best for you.
ALL MY LOVE <3
