Returning to work
I am very grateful for my workplace. I hadn't even been working there for a year so I didn't qualify for maternity leave or FMLA but they made an exception for me. They gave me bereavement time. Granted it wasn't paid but I was still allowed to KEEP my job. THANK GOD!
I was gone from May 10th - June 27th. My doctor saw me two times after delivering Noel. (Which by the way please prepare yourself when returning to the doctor. Seeing all the pregnant women in the office and babies was hard for me. I would sit in the waiting room with my head down just to be able to get through it) During these visits they asked me to fill out a form that clearly gauges how you're handling the loss and whether or not you're depressed. My husband always told me "Answer truthfully." For the most part I did. Clearly I was sad but I never felt as though I needed some intervention from doctors or that I needed any pills to feel better. Again, THANK GOD. I definitely advise women and men alike that if you are just not able to get out of that slump you're feeling tell someone, tell a doctor and get help. Everyone handles grief differently. Please be honest with yourself, if you need help GET IT! Don't be embarrassed about it.
My doctor asked me when I thought I'd be ready to go back to work. I wanted to say never but this is the real world and like I said before I had a job of a wife to do which includes working. I gave her a date and that was it. It was time to be placed back into the real world that wasn't the safety of my home/bedroom. Boy, was I nervous!
I was nervous because I didn't want people asking me anything. Also, this was the place I spent the most time at. This was the place the baby moved the most. The place where I'd poke at my belly and he'd kick back. The place where I played music to him. I didn't know how I'd feel returning without him.
I was having really bad anxiety and my husband suggested I reach out to a distant friend who reached out to me on social media after finding out we lost Noel. She too had lost her baby girl and was sweet enough to offer and ear whenever I needed one. Well, my husband was right and so I reached out to her. Just talking about it calmed me down. (This was before I started my blog) She did give me the advise to send an email to my boss to tell everyone not to mention anything or hug me just to treat me normal.
So, I get to work and guess what the first thing happens. I get a hug from our receptionist. HAHA. It was totally fine though. I didn't cry like I thought I would I just embraced it. She meant well and I knew that. THEN I get to my desk and find a sticky note that I had written and left on my desk the last day I was there. "NOEL" is what it read. MY HEART WAS SO FULL when I saw this. It's like he was there saying "It's ok, Mom, you got this" and so the day went.
THINGS TO DO BEFORE RETURNING TO WORK:
Make sure a doctor clears you to return to work
Make sure that you notify a superior about any requests you may have like no hugs, no questions etc. Sometimes when people mean well you get emotional and aren't able to properly do your job.
Talk to someone who has gone through this similar thing. It helps!
