Prepare for the Questions
I want to share with you the tough questions that parents have to answer if their baby is lost in the womb.
As I've mentioned we were told that our son may or may not survive childbirth and if he did survive he wouldn't survive for very long after, due to his enlarged heart and the fact that he was only 25 weeks. After this information I really wanted to become informed on what I should expect if he were to pass away in the womb or what it would be like to deliver a baby that is given such diagnosis. This is when I looked to blogs to help me understand what I'd be going through.
Before I get this started I want to note that not every parent can prepare. Stillbirth happens out of no where. EVERYTHING can be going great with your pregnancy and then suddenly things change in a blink. It's unfortunate and extremely sad but it is a part of life. My heart goes out to everyone who has to go through such heartbreak. Just know that it's important to reach out to people for support and continue on your journey of living.
QUESTIONS:
Does DAD want to cut the umbilical cord? (In our case DAD did want to cut the umbilical cord BUT as soon as my nurse had asked us this and the rest of our questions things started to move very quickly and the nurse didn't have time to tell the doctor any of our requests. Dad didn't get to cut the cord but it's OK he was there and witnessed it all.)
Does MOM want to see the baby? (I will be honest with everyone, I did not want to see my baby. I had my own memories of him in the womb and I wanted to remember him that way. So, after I delivered him they gave him directly to DAD. A few minutes after delivering him I did decide to see him. I didn't want to hold him at first and then Hours later I decided to. There is not right or wrong answer for these it's everyone's own decision. )
Do you want pictures of your baby? (I said yes and seeing his pictures are always the hardest thing for me. No one but my husband and I have seen the pictures. I'm glad we have them but I only saw them one other time. It's too hard for me to look at them)
If baby is still living when delivered do you want baby to be placed on life support? (THIS is the hardest decision. In our case I knew right away I did not want him to. This is because he had a heart condition in which was irreversible. Basically it would be postponing the inevitable. I didn't want my baby to suffer so I actually prayed for him to pass away inside of me. EVERY CASE IS DIFFERENT and again there is not right or wrong decision there is just YOUR decision)
Do you want family to come in and see the baby? (I was very private about everything that was going on. I just wasn't ready for the support I knew I could count on my family for. So again, originally no I didn't want anyone to see the baby. I had just delivered my baby and he was born sleeping. My heart was undergoing the biggest heartbreak ever and I didn't want anyone but my husband there with me. BUT we did have family that were there for us the entire time hoping and praying for us. So family were allowed to come in. I'm glad a few family members where able to see him.)
Do you want a Chaplain on call? (If Noel had been delivered alive we would've had him baptized right away by our on call chaplain that was provided by the hospital. Instead the Chaplain prayed over Noel with us.)
A few more questions are asked. I may add more later but for now these are the ones that were most important to me. All the love and support <3
