Missed Firsts

Today was a hard day for me. On the drive into work today tears and sadness filled me. It's the first day of school and families are posting about their little ones. While I enjoy seeing the little kids excited for school, I was sad. My heart hurt. There are so many firsts that we didn't get to share with NOEL.

I made a photo album for my husband on Fathers Day that contained our "family pictures". I tried hard to make sure that NOEL was a part of our experiences even though he was just in my tummy. "First Family Trip", "First time daddy sang to baby" etc. I think I did a great job and enjoyed him while I had him. BUT still the truth is he isn't here anymore and my heart will forever ache.

I'd give anything to be able to have any FIRST with him.

I immediately told my husband that I was having a rough morning and he shed some light on me and let me know it'll be OK. He too hurts and we just have to make sure we're there for each other. I asked a coworker, who's son is going to college for his masters degree, if he too was starting school today. I was excited for him and I let her know how I was kind of having a rough time that morning. She of course sympathized with me. TALKING about your feelings helps. Even though there's a smile on my face I'm still fighting my battles of my broken, empty heart.

That's all the advice I have for sad moments. TALK. TALK. TALK and don't stop TALKING.

TIGHT HUGS TO THE PARENTS THAT HAVE AN ACHE IN THEIR HEART TODAY.