Dealing with QUESTIONS and all things BABY related after loss

After we were given bad news about Noel I disappeared from social media. Instead I prepared myself by reading other women's blogs. Only my closest friends knew what was going on with us. I wasn't ready to talk about it with everyone.

It wasn't until after Noel's ceremony that I decided to jump back into the world of social media. I wanted people to know what happened to us. Often times I feel as though not enough people know that stillbirth happens. That just because you've made it to second trimester doesn't mean all is fine. Etc. I wanted all to know that my son existed and will continue to exist within my heart forever. Even though I was ready to spread the word I was NOT ready to see all my pregnant "friends" or all the baby ads (Damn those cookies). So, my solution was to stay "friends" with these people but "unfollow" them. Easy solution. I didn't have to see a new picture of their belly or their newborn every five seconds.

Filtering out the ads, pregnant bellies and newborns helped ALOT. I was so emotionally damaged that I sometimes had to turn away from a mom pushing her stroller into a restaurant. I'd feel so uncomfortable. My entire journey I tried really really hard not to ask "WHY ME!? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?! ITS SO UNFAIR". I believe that there are worse things happening in the world. Yes, what happened to us is awful and continues to hurt me everyday and will for the rest of my life BUT, one can not be so selfish. I'm not the only person in this world suffering. SO, I made sure to not say "THIS IS UNFAIR, WHY ME" instead I tried to find peace in believing that God has a plan for me.

What IS hard and I haven't really mastered yet is how to deal when someone who isn't' aware that we lost Noel asks about him. I usually let my husband answer. It's yet to happen to me while I'm alone. I guess I try to remember that they don't mean any harm and just let them know we lost him, but it's OK we're getting through it.

Basically try these things to stay positive:

Leave Facebook until you're ready to see all things baby related
There's this awesome button on Facebook "unfollow" button that lets you stay friends without all the posts being in your face
Feel free to post about what happened so people are aware and don't have to ask and bring up painful memories.
Remember that people mean well when they asks questions. BE HONEST if you're not ready to talk just speak your mind about that fact.
Don't feel crazy just because you have to look away from a newborn. KNOW that it's NORMAL, this pain you're feeling.
Try your best to realize that this world is filled with suffering and while this pain is real we still have to find something to be grateful for and move forward.