Dr. Blunt

As I was sharing my story I mentioned my run in with a BLUNT doctor. I've come to notice that insanely smart people don't always have a sense of touch/empathy. Which, I understand, Doctors and Nurses deal with things like this on a daily basis and it's probably hard to show any emotion. But for God's sake, give me a break here. Don't be so BLUNT and heartless when giving bad news to first time parents.

23 weeks pregnant, bleeding and terrified, I needed some sympathy. While being examined we heard the baby's heartbeat which gave us hope. Like my husband kept saying "When there's life, there's hope". After being monitored closely for hours I was told I needed to go see the Fetal Cardiologist.

I need to be seen by a specialist? WHY? The wheelchair ride to the specialist was freezing cold and seemed to take hours. I held on to my belly in hopes that Noel would be OK and I'd just be bed ridden. I knew that the chances of a 23 week old being delivered and surviving was slim. They're lungs aren't even formed yet. As we arrive the specialist does an ultrasound and immediately starts huffing and puffing and shaking his head "no". Clearly I could tell the news was gonna be bad. "This baby isn't viable! It's no good. He won't survive"

That's how I received my news. My HEARTBREAKING news. But I remained strong. I didn't shed one tear. I just wanted to get out of that exam room. He did a 3D ultrasound and printed a picture of Noel's face and handed it to my husband in a "Here's a picture to remember him by" type of way. To me it was such an insensitive experience.

I honestly couldn't react until the next day when I woke up at 4am during one of the many times the nurses would come in to check up on me. I woke up so confused. I thought I was dreaming it all. When I realized I wasn't I was flooded with emotions and tears. My heart was broken.

Luckily all the doctors after this were insanely sweet and caring. I was transferred to another practice that dealt with HIGHRISK pregnancies and my new doctor was unbelievably amazing! She made herself so available for any questions I had. I'm so grateful for the team of doctors and nurses that were with me through out the rest of my experience. It's too bad that not all doctors are able to show empathy. I feel as though it's a dying trait in this industry.

Always remember that you're completely able to change doctors and reach out to a Social Worker at your hospital if assistance is needed.