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ABOUT ME

My name is Jen and I'm a 28 year old Houstonian. This past year has been pretty wonderful and heartbreaking all at the same time. I met my husband (Goose) in January of 2015.  6 Months later we got married. We had the perfect wedding that had JEN written all over it. Court wedding with a happy hour party at a local bar. Our lives as a married couple was fun, new and definately an adventure. 6 Months into our marriage we found out we were expecting. This wasn't planned and definately very soon but also very exciting. My husband always wanted to be a dad while I, on the other hand, never saw myself being a mother but when I met my husband I couldn't wait to experience parenthood with him. We always knew we'd name our son Gustavo Noel and so, it would be.

So our journey of pregnancy began. Pregnancy was wonderful and not as hard as I had imagined. Luckily I had no morning sickness instead I had terrible head aches. I enjoyed being pregnant. Everything was normal, my husband went to every doctors visit, we spent time with friends and took a babymoon to San Antonio. 

All was good until we had our 20 week anatomy scan. We were told that the baby had a small head but that all babies are different and it wasn't too small to where we should worry. Either way we were sent to get a High Risk ultrasound at 22 weeks. Again, they told us all was well and that the size of his head was nothing to worry about. Exactly a week later I ended up in the Hospital for preterm labor. 

I was given Magnesium (Which WOAH! is that an experience. Felt like my whole body was on fire on the inside) to stop labor. The baby still had a heartbeat and an ultrasound was done. During this ultra sound doctors noticed that his heart was enlarged. Further ultrasounds found hydrops. We were given blunt news that the baby wasn't "viable". (HOW INSENSITIVE I know, but i'll make a post about it) 

So many tests where done to find out a reason as to why Noel's heart was enlarged but the doctors found no reason. They said that his heart would eventually stop or I'd deliver and he wouldn't last very long after birth. The doctors suggested abortion at 24 weeks, which isn't leagal in Texas so they suggested we go to New Mexico. This was never an option, especially so far along. I was in the hospital for almost 2 weeks. Once I was released I tried hard to come to terms with everything. After getting second opinions I decided that I  would leave everything up to God, think positively and enjoy my baby boy as much as I could while I still had him. We played music for him, I took care of him as much as I could and 4 days later on Sat, May 28th 2016 we went into the emergency room. I had complications and had to deliver my son. @ 11:14pm. 

Millions of emotions came over me. The experience was scary, heartbreaking, beautiful and filled with love. I'll never forget the look on my husband's face when he saw his baby boy. Even though our angel was born sleeping we were so happy to see him and hold him. 

This is where my journey to sruvive without him begins.

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